Dennys Funny Quotes: Funny End Of The World Cartoons, Late Nite Jokes, Funny Videos

Photo by I'm Fantastic @ flickr

 

Dennys Funny Quotes: Funny End Of The World Cartoons, Late Nite Jokes, Funny Videos: "From Denny:  Like any responsible journalist I was waiting to make sure the end of the world did not arrive so I could report on it. Now that the end of the world has been rescheduled by an 89-year-old senile pastor until 21 October 2011 all news personnel are free to make mock."

Dennys Funny Quotes: Funny Relationship Issues Cartoons, Remember Your Special People Memorial Day

Dennys Funny Quotes: Funny Relationship Issues Cartoons, Remember Your Special People Memorial Day: "From Denny: These cartoons will really get you thinking about your current - or, uh, er, past relationships. It sure takes all kinds to make the world go 'round, doesn't it? A little light humor based off reality is just the ticket for a way to ease into a long holiday weekend...



Have a great Memorial Day holiday, chill out to shed yourself of some stress, enjoying some time with family and friends. Be sure to lift your glass to toast those who came before us, sacrificing their lives for our freedom during war time or those who sacrificed as good friends to help keep us balanced in the mundane places of life. Take time to remember the best people in your life and celebrate them this special holiday."

The Social Poets: Time To Fire Atty Gen. Eric Holder: Outrageous Changing The Law to Prosecute Edwards

Eric Holder, Attorney General - is it really Justice?

The Social Poets: Time To Fire Atty Gen. Eric Holder: Outrageous Changing The Law to Prosecute Edwards: "From Denny: Incompetent - and a player of dirty revenge politics - Attorney General Eric Holder, decided of his own volition to change the law, untested in court and no precedent, to prosecute Senator John Edwards. Last time I checked it was Congress that is in charge of making the laws - not the Attorney General.

Why? Try for one thing that it was John Edwards that was the first pick for Holder's job until news of the Edwards' affair broke publicly. Edwards had told his wife two years before the news became public.

Another reason for this ugly ludicrous tactic is that Holder is in a weakened political state after botching several high profile prosecutions. He is desperate to prove to President Obama he should be able to stay on for another four year term.

When an incompetent guy is willing to fight this hard to hold onto his job that's a red flag you know it's time to fire him. What kind of public servant forgets he is a public servant - and pulls a stunt like this in an election year - that blows back onto his boss seeking reelection?"

The Social Poets: Obama, Team Obama Unfairly Piling On: Prosecutes Populist John Edwards

NC Senator John Edwards, wife Elizabeth on left, 3 children

The Social Poets: Obama, Team Obama Unfairly Piling On: Prosecutes Populist John Edwards: "From Denny:  In a politically motivated desperation move Obama has ordered the Dept. of Justice to go ahead and prosecute populist former Senator John Edwards when they could have settled this out of court.. This is an outrage and a complete waste of taxpayer monies.

Obama desperate to win in 2012 and fears other Democrats could challenge him 

What is really going on here? Well, for one Obama is running scared politically since his poll numbers are sagging miserably. He and Team Obama desperately fear a front runner dark horse could appear out of nowhere to grab the Democratic nomination away from Obama. Clearly, they - Axelrod and Plouffe - believe the one possible dark horse with the personal fortune to do it is John Edwards."

The Social Poets: Cartoons: Obamas Israel Peace Speech, Register Your Solution to Middle East Peace

Israel PM Benjamin Netanyahu and President Obama

The Social Poets: Cartoons: Obamas Israel Peace Speech, Register Your Solution to Middle East Peace: "From Denny:  Sagging poll numbers for President Obama has sent him off in the direction most presidents run trying to grab some greatness, this time in the form of the famous Middle East Peace talks. This week Obama kept to the usual American rhetoric of 'so, give back the land you took in 1967' strategy that the past three presidents have also tried to sell to no avail.

In case you were not alive in 1967 - or watching the news the past 30 years or maybe living under a rock - Israel did a huge land grab in 1967, taking the Sinai peninsula, the Golan Heights and the West Bank.  To make peace with Egypt they gave back the Sinai."

*** To read more just click on the link ***

The Social Poets: Breaking News: Fierce Level 4 Tornado Strikes Joplin, Missouri

Photo from CNN/Getty Images

The Social Poets: Breaking News: Fierce Level 4 Tornado Strikes Joplin, Missouri: "From Denny: At almost 200 mph a tornado obliterated half of the town of Joplin, Missouri, of about 50,500 population. This is some stunning video to witness such complete devastation from a level four tornado.

Current estimates are that at least 116 people have died in this sudden fierce storm last night. The storm touched down at 5:41 PM last night. The town had only 24 minutes after the warning sounded to get to safety."

*** To read more and see the video click on link ***

Dennys Funny Quotes: Funny Jon Stewart Mocks Bin Laden Conspiracy Theory

Cover via Amazon

Dennys Funny Quotes: Funny Jon Stewart Mocks Bin Laden Conspiracy Theory: "From Denny: The comedians have figured out how to help President Obama fix his relationship with Pakistan. The obvious cure? Admit that Osama Bin Laden really is not dead. Hey, that's a novel idea.

The best reason for saying Bin Laden is actually still alive is because it will help defense spending. 'Why risk bursting The Terror Bubble?' asks comedian John Hodgman. 'After all, it's our last bubble' and the economy might be in trouble if we take a baseball bat to it is the subtext.

Wondering how we could start such a Bin Laden rumor, Hodgman reminds us we are the country so capable we put a man on the moon. He says we are also the country that created rumors we did not put a man on the moon. Ain't America great?"

The Social Poets: Funny Jon Stewart Disses Pakistan On Hiding Secret Helicopter Tail

Jon Stewart 

The Social Poets: Funny Jon Stewart Disses Pakistan On Hiding Secret Helicopter Tail: "From Denny: Stewart lampoons Pakistan on their incompetence or their lying about the whereabouts of Bin Laden. Either way they lose. Either they were stupid or they were involved up to their proverbial eyeballs. OK, Stewart mentions that reference in the cruder terms of Man Speak that will have you laughing till your sides hurt.

Petulant Pakistan thumbs their nose at America and says they will keep their play toy helicopter tail full of sensitive technology the Chinese paid them to procure so it could be reverse engineered. Hint to the Chinese: You lose. It's probably a huge freaking lie in the first place and they wanted to infect your computers just like Iran. That calls for a real Hehehehe. Oh, well, all's fair in waging cyberwar."

Dennys: News Politics Comedy Science Arts & Food: Lobbyists, IRS Square Off Over New Law to Catch Rich Tax Dodgers

Dennys: News Politics Comedy Science Arts & Food: Lobbyists, IRS Square Off Over New Law to Catch Rich Tax Dodgers

From Denny:  It's an election year and reeling in tax dodgers is a populist position. Americans are furious the wealthy and corporations don't pay taxes at all or very little, certainly not their fair share.

How much does the government lose to rich tax cheats? 

Did you know the Treasury Department loses as much as $100 billion each year in owed taxes because of offshore accounts? Think how that would affect the bottom line to ease the budget deficit - instead of taking away school lunch programs for needy children.

New tax dodger law 

The good news is there is a new law in town. It's called the Foreign Account Tax Compliance Act (FATCA). Foreign financial institutions must report accounts held by American citizens to the U.S. government. The penalty if they fail to report? Not providing that information means those firms face a 30 percent withholding tax on their U.S. revenue. Ouch!

The bad news is that the law does not take effect until 2013 even though it was passed in March 2010. Worse, now enter the gang of lobbyists - yes, more than the usual 100 per lawmaker already leeching off the taxpayers in Washington - who are descending upon the capitol to reject or modify this law. Screaming for help are the foreign financiers and trade associations that have set their sights upon nasty K Street as their messiah.

*** To read more just click on the link ***

The Social Poets: To Obama and Leakers: Shut The F Up About Seal Team 6, Secret Ops

The Social Poets: To Obama and Leakers: Shut The F Up About Seal Team 6, Secret Ops: "From Denny: It's time for the excessive celebration to come to a complete halt over at the White House about the Bin Laden episode. Even I find it obnoxious how they continue leaking secret information about the Seal Team that carried out the raid on the Bin Laden compound.

*** To read more just click on the link ***


Since the folks who occupy the White House never grew up in the military - or the intelligence community - it's about time someone clued them in on just how stupid and dangerous their leaks truly are.

Leaking this information is more than dangerous to the families and the warriors. It is also dangerous to those doing the leaking as it points a direct arrow at your house and your family. You are effectively placing a bullseye on your own back. How stupid can you get?"

Dennys Funny Quotes: Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert Lampoon Gov. Schwarzenegger Sex Scandal

Image via Wikipedia

Dennys Funny Quotes: Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert Lampoon Gov. Schwarzenegger Sex Scandal: "rom Denny: Stewart claims The Snark Fairy anonymously left him the comedy material on his desk, depicting 'Ah-nold' in all his glorious movie posters. Stewart is his usual irreverent self as he debates the difference between a child's game of pin the tail on the donkey or pin the balls on the Schwarzenegger.

And then there's the Colbert take on the sex scandal news... Colbert is convinced you tune in to his show for him to tell you how you feel about these scandals in the news. After all, it's his duty to think for you about such important matters. He says 'at the rate Arnold is going he is making John Edwards look like father of the yea"

The Social Poets: Funny 2012 Election Politics, Obama, Bin Laden Cartoons

The Social Poets: Funny 2012 Election Politics, Obama, Bin Laden Cartoons: "From Denny:  When it rains it pours, goes the proverb. It applies to weather these days from the Spring snow melt-offs flooding the American Midwest to the South to the frenetic weirdo politics of 2012 presidential campaigning.

Mississippi River flood

I live in south Louisiana in Baton Rouge, a large city just south of the Morganza Spillway. The Army Corps of Engineers let open a number of gates to flood 18,000 acres of farmland and small towns. They hoped to save two of the largest population centers that are each a large port:  the capital city of Louisiana, Baton Rouge and the largest port, New Orleans."

*** To read more and see the cartoons just click on the link ***

The Social Poets: Mississippi River Rising: Flood of the Century

Photo by Dave Martin/AP

The Social Poets: Mississippi River Rising: Flood of the Century: "From Denny: This weekend I traveled downtown in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, to take a look for myself at the above flood stage Mississippi River in my home town proverbial back yard. Can I tell you it was a regular 'shock and awe' moment?

Just imagine for a moment a herd of elephants gone rogue and running fast and furious down hill. They are a herd packed tight and fanning out three miles wide. The Old Man River looked like those elephants were just under the water, the top of their heads barely seen in the rough choppy water.  The surface of the water looked like a 60 mile an hour wind was pushing it yet the reality was there was barely a slight breeze."

Blogger Issue

From Denny:  Blogger has been off line since 9 May through almost noon 13 May 2011. No bloggers could access or publish their blogs. Back up now! Excessive celebration may now commence...

Dennys: News Politics Comedy Science Arts & Food: Funny Video: Colbert Claims Obama Takes Credit for Bin Laden Death

Dennys: News Politics Comedy Science Arts & Food: Funny Video: Colbert Claims Obama Takes Credit for Bin Laden Death: "From Denny: Only satirical Colbert could sound outraged about the death of a terrorist and how he was buried in proper Muslim tradition and sleeps with the fishes now. Colbert says he is 'outraged and he is not the only one whose rage is out.'

He goes to Fox News clips of various talking heads upset Obama was respectful of Bin Laden's body. Colbert suggested they basically 'bring back the body, stuff it with candy, and let Mexicans swat it with a stick.'

Colbert via Glenn Beck goes on to discuss how President Obama received a nine point approval rating bump from the news Bin Laden is dead. To hear Glenn Beck tell it, George Bush or even a simple shoe that ordered the Bin Laden mission - they both would have gotten the approval bump. A shoe? Guess Glenn Beck doesn't think too much of his one time hero, George Bush 43. Of course, Colbert wants to know if that shoe is a Republican."

The Social Poets: Funny Video: Colbert Reveals Style Tips From Bin Laden As Glam On The Lam

The Social Poets: Funny Video: Colbert Reveals Style Tips From Bin Laden As Glam On The Lam: "From Denny: Shaking my head while I'm grinning - what a precocious man child. Only Colbert. What can I say? I'll let him speak for himself...

Colbert on Bin Laden: 'He's been found to be living in a mansion. He picked in 2002 and he's been in trouble with the law ever since. He's basically a fundamentalist Lindsey Lohan.'

Acting like a celebrity media gossip show, Colbert takes us inside the Bin Laden compound to hear the latest juicy gossip about how Bin Laden lived his life in luxury: Glam on the Lam. It turns out that 'terrorists are just like us!'"

Ouch Outrageous Obnoxious and Odd: Funny Video: Colbert Talks Long Awaited We Got Bin Laden Party

Image by Getty Images via @daylife

Ouch Outrageous Obnoxious and Odd: Funny Video: Colbert Talks Long Awaited We Got Bin Laden Party: "From Denny: Colbert shouts out American cheers of 'USA! USA! USA!' He praises President Obama as 'the number one most Bin Laden killing president in American history.'

Colbert mocks Bin Laden all over the place in his most obnoxious high-handed tone. The world is so happy Bin Laden is gone everyone is downright giddy. So, Colbert holds up his hand mirror to remember his happy look and proceeds to kiss the mirror so he 'can remember this look forever.'

Bin Laden held the world hostage, looking over their shoulders. It's like saying you miss Hitler when he died. The world was glad to see that serial killer gone too.

Colbert says his long-awaited We Got Bin Laden Party is over due, cue the music - and party balloons falling from the ceiling like confetti. The 10 year old party cake, properly molded, says 'Wassup, Bin Laden. You are the weakest link. Goodbye.'"

Dennys Funny Quotes: Funny Video: Colbert Says Osama Bin Laden Still Dead

Dennys Funny Quotes: Funny Video: Colbert Says Osama Bin Laden Still Dead: "From Denny: In the spirit of true excessive satirical celebration Stephen Colbert talks his usual funny nonsense that is so ridiculous you can't help but laugh. His latest is downplaying how Bin Laden was said to be a figurehead but hey, America loves to hunt down and kill figureheads just as much as the guys who are involved in day to day operations.

Colbert proclaims we all love figureheads, like the British monarchy, why not terrorist figureheads? Says Colbert, 'I can't wait to see what he was wearing.'

He gives a shout out to Navy Seal Team Six. Since the real identities of the team are classified only Colbert would speculate as to who they truly are: Rambo, John MacLaine, Master Chief, Batman, Vin Diesel, Laura Croft and Kung Fu Panda."

The Social Poets: Funny Friday Lite: Osama Bin Laden Late Nite Jokes

The Social Poets: Funny Friday Lite: Osama Bin Laden Late Nite Jokes: "From Denny:  While the news outlets continue to dissect the details of the Bin Laden compound raid, the comedians have wasted no time in concocting their best jokes.  The jokes center less around Bin Laden and his demise and more around everyone's perception of the decade-long situation. President Obama is seen in a new and more favorable light."

The Social Poets: Mission Accomplished: Dead Terrorist Osama Bin Laden Political Cartoons

The Social Poets: Mission Accomplished: Dead Terrorist Osama Bin Laden Political Cartoons: "From Denny: While Pakistan bobs and weaves on who knew what and when about the whereabouts of Bin Laden for five long years, there is no shortage of opinion about his recent demise.

Frankly, no person of sound and reasonable mind believes the folks in Pakistan did not know Bin Laden was living next door. Even the locals who did not know for sure his identity knew something creepy was going on in that tourist town about 100 miles outside of Islamabad.

Of course, when you know a really bad guy with too much money, possesses a desperate need for privacy and keeps too many armed guards, well, it is a definite clue to steer clear of him. Would you try to friend a drug lord or the world's number one terrorist if he moved into your neighborhood?"

The Social Poets: Funny Obama at White House Correspondents Dinner

The Social Poets: Funny Obama at White House Correspondents Dinner: "From Denny: First the President starts off with how the state of Hawaii finally released his long form birth certificate to shut up The Birther crowd. He said he also decided to release the actual footage of his birth, never before seen in the past 50 years, not even by him.

Cue up the African music playing for his birth. When imaginary video ends, he says, 'I want to make clear to the Fox News table that this video was a joke.' Yeah, good move, Mr. President. These guys are suckers for satire sites.

Turns out it was music from a Disney movie and not his live birth footage. Just saying.

Obama moved on to criticism he is 'too professorial.' So, he told the crowd he was assigning them some reading to draw their own conclusions.

Others say he is arrogant so he has found a great self-help tool for this: his poll numbers."

Dennys Funny Quotes: Funny Will Ferrell Reacts To Bin Laden Death As President Bush

Dennys Funny Quotes: Funny Will Ferrell Reacts To Bin Laden Death As President Bush: "From Denny: Comic Will Ferrell resurrects his George W. Bush 43 reenactment where Bush learns that Osama bin Laden is now dead. Yeah, the Navy Seals got the sucker, uh, gopher.

'President Bush' reports from his local Dallas Sizzler steak house, complains about how there is no taco bar and plunks down just one more meatball onto his plate before giving his official response and report to the media about the MIA gopher.

The usually clueless George Bush goes on and on about how he and his gardening staff - the Mexicans and the whites - finally ran down that troublesome gopher and killed it. Bush named the gopher 'Ardilla' and parallels the bin Laden death to that of the gopher demise. You know how it is when a president gets really angry about some wretch trying to tear up his back yard."

Libya: Turkish Leader Demands Gadafi Step Down Highly Significant

From Denny: The entire planet is aware Turkey is a key player in the Muslim world. Turkey has encouraged the many recent democracy movements sweeping rapidly throughout the Arab world. Up until now, Turkish Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan has resisted handing over the public gift of full support to the rebel revolt in Libya.

Now, times have changed. Erdogan says it's time for Moammar Gadafi to go. Mark this day on your calendar for Turkey decisively turned against the Libyan leader. Erdogan urged Gadafi to step down from power - immediately.  Erdogan says the Libyan people have changed, in so many words saying the people have outgrown the stagnant toxic 41-year-old dictatorship of Gadafi.

The Social Poets: Dead: Osama Bin Laden, Time To Stop Iraq-Afghan Wars

The Social Poets: Dead: Osama Bin Laden, Time To Stop Iraq-Afghan Wars: "From Denny: Justice came swiftly this weekend, dished out from American Special Forces in a deadly fire fight, unleashed by President Obama to kill decades-long terrorist Osama Bin Laden. The mastermind of the 9/11 terrorist attacks in 2001 was found living in the lap of luxury in a large mansion in the affluent suburb of Abbottabad, about 30 miles outside of Islamabad, Pakistan. As it was, in the 40 minute fire fight, it was believed he used one of his wives as a human shield as he fired upon the assault team.

Terrorist cult leader turned world pariah

Like the typical cult leader he preached sacrifice and frugal living to his dewy-eyed followers yet enjoyed a lavish life style for himself, his family and closest followers."